Here at professorthrupiece.com we pride ourselves in the integrity of our investigative journalism and stand foursquare and shoulder-to-shoulder behind and beside our reporter's fearless, uncompromising, no-holds barred quest to call out abuse, malpractice, deceitfulness, corruption and mean spiritedness wherever they manifest themselves.
Taking with appropriate seriousness the famous libertarian, pro-democratic, anti-authoritarian dictum that it is "fairly important that power mis-speaks to truth" we prosecute the affairs of those in high [and low] office, exposing malpractice root and branch, without fear or favour and wielding only the sword of truth and the shield of honour. No person or institution should ever feel safe from the forensic scalpel that is professorthrupiece.com, nor should those in "public service" [would that they were [Ed]] rest for a second in the belief that, however out of touch they may have become, they are equally out of reach. Relentlessness is our watchword, transparency our mission. Unchallengeable in our integrity, undeterable in our quest we will defend without compromise the right of the press to comment, pre-judge, pontificate and campaign for what is right and for what is in the public interest. We will expose and condemn that which besmirches the public realm, that which remains a cancer in the body politic, that which threatens the ordinary citizen and robs of their dignity the good and honest common folk of Dorset. In short, we will side with the weak, challenge the strong, sup with the common man and disdain the high table of the self-important. [I think we've made the point - can we move on? [Ed].
It came as a very pleasant surprise though not a complete shock, therefore, to learn that professorthrupiece.com has been awarded [for the 16th year in succession] the prestigious "Outstanding Investigative Journalism Award 2024" by the Dorset Guild of Journalists. This is doubtless a recognition of our general willingness "expose and condemn that which besmirches the public realm, that which remains a cancer in the body politic, that which threatens the ordinary citizen and robs of their dignity the good and honest common folk of Dorset. In short, we will side with the weak, challenge the strong, sup with the common man and disdain the high table of the self-important." etc etc. It is also awarded for a very specific story featured some months ago and of which we are rightly proud. It typifies in our view everything that is right and proper in the profession that calls itself journalism and is truly representative of the indomitable spirit and evergreen principles by which we at professorthrupiece.com live, expect to be judged and might possibly die.
Readers will recall that our crack team of journalists spent several months under cover at the Bere Regis Snooker Club, breaking the story of the bogus 147-break claimed by 9 year old Desmond Cheate. Nor was this simply a question of a fraudulent sporting claim, since it will also be remembered that on the basis of this "achievement", Desmond was able to "bag" a luxury Threadboneextra mini-hamper [redeemable value £11] containing biscuits, crisps, nuts, an individual fruit pie and a soft drink of choice. In short, by falsely claiming the highest possible break, Desmond also became guilty of financial fraud, false [ac]counting and - perhaps worse - bringing sport and the good name of the Bere Regis Snooker Club into disrepute.
There is no question that "Dirty Little Desmond" would have escaped detection [no-one witnessed the break since he was practicing solo at the time and the lights had gone out as a result of a "misunderstanding" between the Club's owners and the Dorset Electricity Board] had it not been for the perspicacity and tenacity of razor-sharp and keen-eyed professorthrupiece.com journalist, Jason Sneake who overheard "the cheeky little b*****d" [for the record, the published exposé substitutes "cheeky little pisswink" [Ed] boasting of his deception to friends who then shared in his deception - and doubtless maintained their subsequent silence - by profiting from the spoils. Sneake's article - "Shocking Truths Uncovered At Elite Gentlemen's Sport's Club" - published in October of this year brought the matter to public attention for the first time * and resulted in an abject apology from Cheate as weel as the return of the little blue sachet from one packet of crisps and the tin foil from the individual fruitpie. The rest of the hamper's original contents had been, a spokesperson for the Bere Regis club confirmed, "consumed" and were unquestionably "beyond retrieval - at least in any recognisable form".
* Discounting the fact that some 4 months prior to this, the original Mappowder Mirror had scooped the story and plastered it all over its front page [Sanity Check and Public Accountability Editor]
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