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Desperate Times

Writer's picture: Professor Brian ThrupieceProfessor Brian Thrupiece

The Sun of yesteryear: secure in its sexist, firm in its enjoyment of double figures

As the poet once wrote, "desperate times call for desperate measures". Since few can dispute that we do indeed live in desperate times - the DHRA's Finance Committee Chair, no less, has encouraged us all to think that things will certainly get even more dire before they begin simply to feel ordinarily depressing - it's good to know that the humble citizenry is taking matters into its own hands and making serious suggestions as to how we might improve the general atmosphere and perhaps even change the mood music.


One such suggestion comes from a group of readers of the Sydling St Nicholas Sun who have written to Editor Ron Nasty proposing an alteration in the popular red top's contents. Taking a leaf out of the great Italian composer Giuseppe Verdi's book and remembering no doubt his injunction that we should "torna a l'antiqua, sara un progresso" * they have made a cogent case for the return of a family favourite albeit one more likley to cheer the dads than the mums**


* "let us go back to the old days that will be progress". The Verdi Pezzo-Passante Letters edited [2007] by Amandino Filo d'Osso [The Threadbone Press]

** Can we be a little more aware of and sensitive to the dangers of gender stereotyping please. Assuming and thereby reinforcing male and female preferences in such matters is inherently sexist, disagreeable and risky and is not supported by recent scientific evidence or many of the most popular people-influencing social media outlets or, more importantly, our insurance policy. I am myself aware of several "ladies" who are not averse to a little mammarial erotisme, especially at the weekends and when a little the worse for drink.


Whether the powers that be at the Sydling St Nicholas Sun will take up the suggestion remains to be seen, but if the Editor and his team really are looking at the bottom line [geddit?], they may be well advised to keep this particular reader suggestion in mind. As a different poet put it: "Bottoms up and tits up may be anatomically related, but the feelings associated with them are certainly entirely different". The devil is, as always, in the detail.


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DISCLAIMER: Though it will be perfectly obvious that the absurd world of Professor Thrupiece and his corporate affairs is no more nor less than the product of a fevered brain, it is clearly affirmed here that any resemblance to actual persons, organisations or events is purely coincidental and that no slight or injury of any kind is intended to any person alive, dead or yet to be born.

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