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THE THREADBONE PRESS

Threadbone Non-Fiction

THREADBONE NON-FICTION

THREADBONE NON-FICTION is one of the most significant imprints of The Threadbone Press and a major contributor to its unparalleled reputation for excellence in academic as well as learned circles.

 

In addition to producing exceptionally high quality editions of the work of the late Professor Brian Thrupiece, it also publishes major works by and about his contemporaries and the world of culinary bio-ethics in which he worked..

Threadbone Non-Fiction's most recent publication - the autobiography of Celia Notso-Pointy - represents a major coup for the Press, the rights to the book having been secured at public auction for an undisclosed but exorbitant sum.  This prestige volume is available from the Press Shop, Great Heaving, from quality booksellers nationwide and as a download from the Threadbone Press online digital facility.

 

THE THREADBONE PRESS issues most of its publications in digital form through its online store.

£50 plus p&p

FOLIO e-reader edition £60

Why Not Take All of Me

by Celia Notso-Pointy

 

In this compelling and unexpectedly frank autobiography, Celia Notso-Pointy, life long comp-anion of Ms Audrey Badminton-Court, opens a window into her life and times. Written over the course of their life-journey together and based upon hitherto private memoirs, Why Not Take All of Me will endear and engage the reader as it exposes - sometimes iwith heart-rending immediacy -  the trials, tribulations, laughter, tears, joy and sadness of a partnership in which "giving always meant more than receiving" and where "Audrey's position meant she was always on top".

With an introduction by Mrs Amanda J Threadbone and 10 illustrations this is sure to be "DHRA Autobiography of the Year" and top of every discerning reader's Easter Wish List.

Notso-Pointy

RSCBE | Threadbone Press

Oats

£50 plus p&p

FOLIO e-reader edition £60

What's Not to Like: My Life with Food

by Brenda Oats

 

Brenda Oats first came to fame as one of the most celebrated Thupiece Diet / Fitness the Threadbone Way glamour girls.  Having struggled with weight all her life (Brenda was diagnosed with the greedygene™ in 2002) she changed from a size 58 to a size 8 in only 24 weeks thanks to the combined effects of the Threadbone Industries' miracle programmes. She later became a best selling author of Ladybone children's books and has her own lingerie line. 

In this frank and sometimes disturbing book Brenda "tells it like it was" chronicling her remarkable triumph over nature with breathtaking candour and not a little embellishment!

With an introduction by husband and co-survivor Ray Oats and 2 illustrations (before and after) this is sure to be "Slimming World Book of the Year" and top of every dieter's Easter Wish List.

RSCBE | Threadbone Press

£50 plus p&p

FOLIO e-reader edition £60

Fingering Myself: The Life and

Strange Times of Ziggy Osmington

by Sandra Wonite-Stande

Though the subject of numerous books, Ziggy Osmington remains an enigma.  Several puzzling episodes in his extraordinary life have never been fully explored and even those closest to him have confessed to a failure to get inside the mind and soul of  this solitary yet popular artist.  With hitherto unprecedented access to personal files and even the man himself as well as numerous interviews with those who knew him best, Sanda Wonite-Stand - one time groupie of the Boners - reveals all in this insightful and surprising book.  Shedding new light on Ziggy's famous "disappearance" in 1964 as well as the breakup of the Belle-Ends shortly before, this is the biography we have all been waiting for.  "Fingering Myself is a triumph of meticulous research over real insight and of sustained writing over reader interest. Wonite-Stand has not only kissed and told, she's fxxxed and left" THE DORSET BOOKSELLER

With an introduction by famed composer and self-proclaimed Ziggy fan Addinsell Threadbone, this is sure to be Dorset Pop Biography Magazine's Book of the Month and top of every Ziggy admirer's 2017 Wish List.

DHRA | Threadbone Press

Ziggy
Scene of the Crime

£50 plus p&p

FOLIO e-reader edition £60

Scene of the Crime

by Shelley-Lulette Sizemore

Few stories from the first decade of the 21st century are better known than that of the disappearance of Professor Brian Thrupiece whilst attending a Culinary Bioethical Conference in Geneva, Switzerland in the spring of 2004. Countless volumes have been written about it (even a Children’s Book) and hardly a month passes without some sensational story or other appearing in the press and written more often than not by opportunists happy to make a fast buck out of what remains a tragic story.

Here for the first time comes a hemi-demi-semi-autobiographical account of those traumatic events written by someone wjho may or may not have been there and who has been a "person of interest" to Swiss Authorities (L’Autoritees Suisse) ever since.

Thinly disguised as a novel, Shelley Lulette Sizemore's book deserves its Threadbone Non-fiction status if only for the insightful introductiuon written by none other than Inspecteur Cherché La Femme (Chef de Police Suisse and leading investigator at the time of the Thrupiece disappearance).

INTERPOL | Threadbone Press

£50 plus p&p

FOLIO e-reader edition £60

Thrupiece

by Amanda J Threadbone

The latest and much-anticipated volume in the Threadbone Press's Illustrated Lives of the Great Thinkers, this comprehensive yet highly readable account of the life and work of the late Professor Thrupiece will be welcomed by experts and lay persons alike.  Distilling a whole life - especially one so rich and incident packed as this - is never an easy task and the author must be at one with his or her subject as well as deeply aware of the context in which their subject worked.  Professor Thrupiece's times and his role in shaping them is not only a topic of continuing debate in which almost nothing is known with certainty, it is also a running commentary on the late 20th and early first 21st centuries and the moral dilemnas all great men - and in particular great culinary bio-ethicists - faced.

Mrs Threadbone - a long time intimé of the Professor - probably knew him as well as anyone (though not in the biblical sense (see Shelley-Lulette Sizemore "Brian As I Knew Him")) and no one is better placed to make a wholly biased appraisal of his life.  Never afraid to make her own views clear, this account benefits inestimably from her ability to see through the trees and find the wood.  Lavishly illustrated with more than a dozen photographs, this is the account we have been waiting for and few (mainly the prurient) will be disappointed.

The Threadbone Press

£50 plus p&p

FOLIO e-reader edition £60

Inside Stringbonefellows

by Drusilla Likhtarovich

Former lap dancer and now Stringbonefellows  Executive Dorset Regional Manager Drusilla Likhtarovich (now better known as society hostess Drusilla Parker-Knowles) reveals all in this searing account of life inside the night club empire.  Simultaneously a personal rags to riches story and the definitive account of adult entertainment in the 21st century, her compelling narrative is sure to re-open the debate about the wisdom of late night (11pm) opening in Broadwindsor on Tuesdays.

Born in a small town in Eastern Russia, Ms Likhtarovich came to UK disguised as a small crate of Polish sausages before making a life "of sorts" in Hinton Martell.  Recruited to the local Stringbonefellows Club first as a hat check girl and only later as a private dancer, she met entrepreneur and local aristocrat Peter Parker-Knowles during a "thong failure".  "Liking what he saw and seeing what he liked", Mr Parker-Knowles bought a large minority share in the company stipulating that his share of the assets had to include Ms Likhtarova.  She later became his housekeeper, proved an "excellent bedfellow" and married him in 2009.

                       "A joyful story and the pictures are a thong of beauty"

                                                                                                         Dorset Prats Magazine

The Threadbone Press

Inside Stringbonefellows

£50 plus p&p

FOLIO e-reader edition £60

The Rise and Fall of the House of

Fadenknochen

by Eva Nicht Verantwirtlich

Republished to coincide with thrupiecetelevision's 3 part mini-series "A House Divided: Prosthetics, Mensuration and Sibling Rivalry in the House of Fadenknochen", Eva Nicht Verantwirtlich's masterly account of the rise and fall of Germany's last Kaiser is an intriguing tale of disability, unequal access and the consequences of social exclusion.  A fascinating story in its own right (who knew that the ex-Kaiser  spent his years of exile in Chaldon Herring selling shelfish on Brownsea Island Beach?) it is also a timely warning from history: ignore the dextrously-challenged at your peril: you might find yourself facing a major European conflagration! With new illustrations and a foreword by distant relative Enid Whiskt-McNightly is pool-side summer  reading at its best

                       "A marvellous tale marvellously told"   Tales Magazine

                       "I curled up with this book and a bag of pickled walnuts and before I knew it I

                       was fast asleep" Insomnia and How to beat It Magazine

The Threadbone Press

£65 plus p&p

FOLIO e-reader edition £70

Professor Thrupiece and the Nipple:

A study in Obsession

by Conran Prurient

Now in its greatly expanded second edition, Professor Thrupiece and the Nipple remains the definitive book for anyone interested in the development of the Professor's art or for the casual reader just looking for highbrow coffee-table soft porn.  Ideal for browsing or toilet reading (tissues not supplied), this lavishly illustrated volume comes with an explicit warning but with very little text by Thrupiece expert Conran Prurient. Admirers of Ms Sizemore who can't wait to see more of her should make a grab for it whilst they can.

                       "Who knew nipples could be so interesting" 

Good Lord I'm Clueless Magazine

               "I loved this book and read it from cover to cover over a long period as I moved reluctantly from one image to the next.  It kept me in my bedroom for days"

                                                                                     High Brow Coffee Table Porn  Monthly

The Threadbone Press

£65 plus p&p

FOLIO e-reader edition £70

The Serif of Nottington: The Evolution

of a Font

by Charles and Maurice MacPro

The Serif of Nottington tells the fascinating story of the evolution of the much loved modern fault commonly known as "Professor Thrupiece".  Written by those at the heart of the story - typographers and graphic designers Charles and Maurice MacPro - this lavishly illustrated volume will be of interest to all who want to know more about the art and science which lies behind good design.  They will then want to read a book which properly meets their needs.

                      "Who knew fonts could be so interesting" 

Good Lord I'm Clueless Magazine

                       "This is a fascinating account of a fascinating subject.  Perhaps the most  fascinating insight into the fascinating world of fonts we have yet had"

                                                                             Fascinating Fonts Magazine January 2018

The Threadbone Press

£50 plus p&p

FOLIO e-reader edition £60

East Dorset Corner Shops of the 1950s

by A Nally-Retentive

Once a staple of every local community, the cornershop is one of the great uncelebrated institutions of local history.  Selling eveything from newspapers to groceries, tobacco to sweets and mousetraps to fuses, the cornershop was a place of both commerce and social intercourse.  Like its proprietor - be it Mr Jones or Mrs Bateman - the shop was warm and welcoming and was a thing of fantasy for every child.  What treasures it held, what needs it served, what dreams it fulfilled. Here catalogied for the first time is a complete history and gazeteer of the cornershops and newsagents of East Dorset - all 348 known to be in existence in 1955.  This revised edition includes a checklist for personalised notes to aid the recording of private reminiscences.

                       "Mr Nally-Retentive is to be congratulated on his exhaustive and exhausting

                       survey”                                             East Dorset Cornershops Weekly Magazine

The Threadbone Press

Audrey in Italia.png

£25 plus p&p

FOLIO e-reader edition £30

Audrey in Italia: A Summer Romance

by Cecilia Notso-Pointy

 

 

An intimate account of the time the author and lifelong companion of distinguished bio-ethical scientist Ms Audrey Badminton-Court spent together traveling in Tuscany in the summer of 1959.  Originally conceived as a fact-finding mission to aid Professor Brian Thrupiece in the early stages of his work on fluff collection, de-stranding and refinement, the two women found fluff and so much more on what was to prove a journey of discovery and delight.  Written in the elegant prose which was the hallmark of Why Not Take All Of Me, Audrey in Italia is sure to delight and intrigue as well as frustrate and annoy in equal measure.  

 

Hotly-tipped to be Threadbone Biography of the Year, Audrey in Italia is a must read for fans of the couple, of Italy and of the ®thrupiecediet™ .

 

 

                      “She writes as though she’s been doing it for much of her adult life”                                                                                     THE EAST DORSET LITERARY MONTHLY

The Threadbone Press

Cover.png

£25 plus p&p

FOLIO e-reader edition £30

The Professor's Guides: I: Modern Day

Appliances [Home Entertainment]

by Amanda J Threadbone

 

This lavishly illustrated guide - with a stunningly-witty commentary by Mrs Amanda J Threadbone - is a must for all those who either want a nostalgic wander down hi-tech memory lane or just want to know what made their parent's "tune in and turn off" back in the 1950s.  The first in a projected series, it aims to be a guide for the novice and an aide memoire to the initiated.

 

                      “A tour de force.  the cover alone is worth the price of admission”                                                                                                            THE EAST DORSET HI-TECH MONTHLY

 

                     “A cracking read.  Made me dig out my Bell and Howell Siuper-8”                                                                                                      SAD SACK, CORFE MULLEN        

The Threadbone Press

The Threadbone Corporation (AJTCorps)

The Mall

Great Heaving

West Lulworth, UK

Tel: +44 (0)1929 400000

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DISCLAIMER: Though it will be perfectly obvious that the absurd world of Professor Thrupiece and his corporate affairs is no more nor less than the product of a fevered brain, it is clearly affirmed here that any resemblance to actual persons, organisations or events is purely coincidental and that no slight or injury of any kind is intended to any person alive, dead or yet to be born.

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